Condoms & Chapter 11: The story of protection

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I swear this is a true story. I was at a lawyer friend’s when Swami Nithyananda sauntered in, robe and all. He wanted to understand whether he could file for Chapter 11. After all it provided blanket (pun unintended) bankruptcy protection and you could stretch it to spiritual bankruptcy surely.

“I have been victimised. I was merely exchanging a freely tradeable commodity since the kamasutra days, viz. body fluids. My customers paid for quality of my ‘service’. Now my business is bust and I need protection.” He went on to read out the general provisions … Continue reading “Condoms & Chapter 11: The story of protection”

Anti-Globalization Bill 2010 passed by America

Dear Mr. President,

Congratulations on the passing of the landmark Anti-Globalization Bill, 2010. I quote from the first 30 minutes of your The 2010 State of the Union Address on 27th January 2010.

Obama – 0:17:45 – 0:17:55 “… to encourage businesses to stay within our borders, it is time to finally slash the taxbreaks to companies that ship jobs overseas and give tax breaks to companies that create those jobs right here in America.”
Sure Mr. Presidunk. But where will you get the skills you need. I believe you exported these to us lesser mortals for mercenary reasons 2 decades ago. Give us a shout if you need us to re-skill your workers.

Obama – 0:20:47-0:20:52 “… they [India and China] are making serious investments in clean energy because they want those [our] jobs.”
Yeah, we all know that there’s a larger world outside America, but do you? C’mon Obama, India has more important issues to think of and things to do than to think of America’s jobs. And guess what, the job market is much larger (and unfortunately for your ilk) and growing in our part of the world. Hey we don’t need your jobs. We actually have jobs on offer. Interested? Only we don’t have your ‘Bogus Bonus’ plans.

Obama0:25:53-0:26:04 ” … because the nation that leads the clean energy economy will be the nation that leads the Global economy. And America must be that nation.”
And why Mr. President, should everything be a race? Why must America always want to be the leader? Why is it always America vs. the rest of the World? The issues of Climate Change & Environment and clean energy are humanity’s collective problem and can be solved better through cooperation than competition. But you can’t understand this even if you tried.

So much duality – us and them all the way. And there’s much applause punctuating your speech, I wonder why.

Yours sincerely etc. etc.,
PS: BTW  “In this new decade, it’s time the American people get a government that matches their decency; …”  What new decade??? Like 2000 was the new millennium?? Haha … 2011 is still 11 months away!!!

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Overthrowing the incubation regime

From an earlier post Business Incubation 101 that forms the preamble of my incubation idea. Thanks for all the offers of support – shows me that the idea resonates with many.

1. First bring the academia out of the safety of the cocoons we’ve woven around them. Have them check out what the world looks like. Today’s world. Today’s India.

2. Next, focus towards incubating ‘people’. They should be the real focus. Find real mentors. People that have been in the entrepreneurial world even if they have failed. They are the best teachers. Not professors of colleges. Don’t talk about incubating business. Leave that to the Western world.

3. Next, teach people to fish. No point in teaching fishing in your living room aquarium. At least walk them out to a brook. Pick up all the university incubation centres and physically put them off campus. That’s where the world exists. Not in the time warped government funded institutes.

Entrepreneur-ism is not socialistic. And capitalism doesn’t necessarily mean greedy or mercenary – especially in the context of India’s ethos. Make entrepreneurship an attractive lifestyle and stop being condescending irrespective of the preamble of our constitution. That goes for all those holier-than-thou bankers and VC’s.

Let’s cut our noses. Yes Prime Minister!

Two of my favourite subjects here – the fascinating global warming debate and India’s bollywood style negotiation script. Hopenhagen is around the corner and will make Kyoto passe. We love being underdogs because like our movies, the hero comes from behind in a good-over-evil victory lap while the crowd applauds his heroic antics.

Hopenhagen

Two wrongs don’t make a right, and I fully intend the pun.
US spews Greenhouse Gases (GHGs) into the atmosphere when India sleeps. [Pat on back .. I’m getting good at puns]Now India wants America to pay for their long and sinful polluting behaviour. And guess what, if they don’t, we’ll have an equal right to kill the planet first so we’re even. That’s the craziest example of serving our self interests I’ve come across. It’s almost like saying that since I just found out that my neighbour has been raping my mother for 20 years, the way to punish him is by killing my own mother. Continue reading “Let’s cut our noses. Yes Prime Minister!”

Business Incubation 101 (India)

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 This post is India centric.

Thinking lag is a serious condition. I remember how the older folks used to tell us ‘in our times things were so much cheaper’. Look at how the Government patronises unsuspecting academia and students by announcing Goals 2020 and supports it with Funding 1920. It’s not even smart political thinking. Call it Politicalaggard thinking.

Mayawati will spend Rs. 2000 crores (USD 400 million) dotting the UP countryside with ego-stroking statues of herelf and her mock leather handbags while the Government announces 1 crore for business incubation. Here …

The government has now formulated a scheme to set up around 100 incubators in the country to encourage the development of new businesses. It has earmarked a budget of Rs 1.13 crore for 2007-08 for providing grants to 50 universities and training institutes for setting up these incubators!

[read the original evangelising here]. And don’t miss ‘proud’ exclamation mark.  Continue reading “Business Incubation 101 (India)”